If you repeatedly drink more than you intend or want to, if you get into trouble, or if you have memory lapses when you drink, you may be an alcoholic. It’s a matter of whether your drinking is stopping you from leading the sort of life you want to lead. If you want to control your drinking but can’t, then alcoholism is a definite possibility. But as far as AA is concerned whether you’re an alcoholic is for you to decide. It’s not up to anyone in AA to tell you whether you are or not.
We would recommend you come to an AA meeting or at least contact someone in AA and talk them about your problem.